I just can’t stop thinking about you lately. I know it’s been because of family events. I miss you so. Your mannerisms, your voice, your support, your laugh, your gentle presence, your strength despite your despair.. I even miss your despair. Everytime I listen to music and feel that passion and beauty, I think of you and am so thankful to have inherited that from you.
Here is a letter you wrote to Yvonne and Father David, reciting the letter I wrote to you in which I thanked you for everything you have given me and others blessed to have you in their lives:
“December 5, 2002
Today is St. Nicholas’ birthday. December 5th. Brings back a lot of wonderful memories from my childhood. However, I hope you don’t mind. I am trying to get out of my “depressive feelings”. This evening I was sorting out a lot of stuff and I found this. Please allow me to share this with you. It is a letter from my little “rebellious” daughter (that is what Wilt used to call her). She has a wonderful way of putting things on paper. So here goes:
Dear Mom:
These are all the things that you have given to me as my mother that I am thankful for, that make me who I am and remind me of you. They are what make up our close bond as mother and daughter, and what we share with the rest of the family.
– not forgetting our Dutch culture and heritage, incorporating this lifestyle into our lives which include the customs, cuisine, and contact with our relatives overseas.
– I love to travel ever since you first put me on the airplane and we arrived in Holland. I experienced a new land and the culture first hand. I love to try all sorts of new foods and tastes, because of your love and enthusiasm of cooking for people, and encouraging me to try new things.
– You have taught me compassion, gentleness, and kindness. You have shown me how important it is to carry out these traits everyday and how much they are a part of me. You have also taught me how important it is to be true to myself , no matter how sensitive or emotional, that it is okay to be this way, and not to be ashamed of those traits.
– You have always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. Never once have you ever told me that I would fail. You have never said any negative or discouraging things to me. You always believe in me, no matter what I do, and support everything that I do-never criticizine my actions. You don’t realize how much that means to me, and how that has helped me throughout my life. I always hear your words of encouragement and praise in my mind when I am down and hard on myself. You can never give too much of that to your child.
– Your love of music, art, and style have enriched my life in many ways, and have enhanced my own creativity and style.
– I thank you for large family dinners around the table, the aroma of good food, coffee, and freshly baked bread, classical music playing on Saturday mornings, trips to the garden market, the Dutch store, Albert’s Coffee Shop for raisin toast and tea, the taste of Worst (sausage) and kale and potatoes, Sunday soup, fresh whipped cream, letting me lick the bowl, stroopwafels, whatching outdoor evening Audrey Hepburn movies , Bing Crosby’s White Christmas, Harry Belafonte concerts, John Denver, Roger Whittaker, going to the Symphony, the Red Army Choir in Toronto (“Hey you in the red jacket, you should know better”) heh, heh! The list could go on and on.
Thanks for a lifetime of good memories.
I love you, Rochelle.
P.S. Re. the Red Army Choir. We went there, Rochelle and myself and when we came there was a demonstration across the street of Massy Hall in Toronto. That is when they said that “Hey you, in the red coat.” She was still in Highschool in London and I remember her saying to me “No one of my friends mothers would ever take me to something like this”. But the music was wonderful and the dancing.
Anyway I better stop. Hope you don’t mind me sharing this.It made my day.
Frederika”
I can’t stop thanking you.
blaak sheep 