The Flossing-Virgin Suicides

After being inspired by Da Koch’s blog about “the spiritual gift of flossing,” I have started to floss daily. After reading how satisfying it was for her, her words somehow stuck to my brain, and I wanted that squeaky-clean-mouth feeling and pride of hygenic discipline for myself.  I was tired of making excuses not to.

For the first-time routine flosser (well, it’s not the first time, but it’s been a long time!),  it’s kind of like that feeling when you’re a kid with a loose tooth and it feels really good to wiggle the shit out of it. My virgin gums bleed each night as the wiry, taut string penetrates. I also enjoy how clean my teeth feel each day; there are no leftover grits and they feel super smooth, almost like I just got back from the dentist. Now I notice when there is the slightest bit of food stuck between them and I want to floss right away. But I won’t. I’ll wait until tonight. 

Apparently flossing can become a serious addiction. According to The Bouncing Molar, “When you start flossing instead of eating, doing your job, while you’re holding the steering wheel of your semi-trailer, it could become a problem.

Flossing addiction has lead to many a marriage breakup and can even in severe cases lead to death (usually from starvation). A 30-year-old woman was found dead with her cats in an apartment with a piece of floss in between her teeth and fingers. It is suspected that it was a flossing addiction that lead to this fateful end.

I suggest joining Flossaholics Anonymous; they have a great support network. Just remember, the first stage to recovery is recognizing you have a problem and that it can be fixed.” 

Who knew FA existed?

So, like every habit/drug/pleasure in life, moderation is key. After three days of getting between the teeth, I started to get obsessed with my plaque. I wondered, should you do it before or after brushing? Like every question I have about life in general,  I Googled it. I am realizing that almost everything can be answered on Google – how wonderful and how sad. The modern era of library halls remain empty, their shelves holding the Encyclopedia Britannicas lay dusty.  But I obviously don’t care. I’m not gonna travel fifty-blocks when I can look it up in seconds free of charge. The results of the floss question were fifty-fifty. Some people say to floss before brushing as brushing will remove the plaque and gunk that gets pushed out  from the floss once and for all.  Some say to floss after brushing as it’s better to get rid of the big stuff first and then get at the little stuff left over, and also that brushing first  loosens up what’s in between the chompers at hand. 

Then I found some articles saying dentists and periodonists say it doesn’t matter, as long as you do it. And not to overbrush, as too much brushing erodes the teeth and can lead to tooth decay.

So, if I haven’t already bored you to death about the mundane routines of good oral hygiene, especially for those of you who actually practice it, let me try to impress you with the proper technique, thanks to Google and copy and paste :

Floss Time

       Tear off about 10 to 12 cm of dental floss and wrap it around your middle or forefinger of each hand. Gently work it back and forth between two teeth till it slides past the tight spot. Be careful not to be too rough or your may slice your gum. Next, wrap the floss around your tooth and scrape it up and down. This removes stubborn plaque and polishes the surface. Repeat the process on each tooth till they are well and truly flossed. Rinse your mouth. You could brush your teeth before or after flossing, it does not matter. Some people prefer flossing first and then brushing the loose ends away.