A Charlie Brown Christmas plays in the background, and I am drawn to the brisk, uplifting notes. On the contrast, I am feeling discouraged and broken, but the music is gently raising my spirits. That and the thought of slipping into my galley kitchen and making calzones for dinner, the anticipation of the comforting aroma, the burst of flavour afterwards, and the gratitude it brings.
Things could be worse, but I feel that I am not permitted to really live life to its fullest at times, like there is an outside force stopping me from pursuing my dreams. I’m not sure I even know what my dreams are at this point. Even in my middle age, I am still searching, yearning for something to come true. But for now I must settle, take what’s given to me and live with the aftermath. Be thankful, my brain tells me, but I am capable of so much more, my heart screams! The battle continues.
During this confining and mercurial time, preparing good food while listening to music always helps, as I forage through my cupboards and gather savoury ingredients, blend and fold, mix and taste the creations from my hands, while humming to tunes. I am thankful, but there is always room for hope.
Copyright: Josep M Rovirosa
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