Author Archives: blaak sheep

I am your calm face;
You are my giggle.
I am your wait;
You are my wiggle.

I am your carriage ride;
You are my king.
I am your push;
You are my swing.

I am your audience;
You are my clown.
I am your London Bridge;
You are my falling down.

I am your carrot sticks;
You are my licorice.
I am your dandelion;
You are my first wish.

I am your water wings;
You are my deep.
I am your open arms;
You are my running leap.

I am your way home;
You are my new path.
I am your dry towel;
You are my wet bath.

I am your dinner;
You are my chocolate cake.
I am your bedtime;
You are my wide awake.

I am your finish line;
You are my race.
I am your praying hands;
You are my saying grace.

I am your favorite book;
You are my new lines.
I am your night-light;
You are my starshine.

I am your lullaby;
You are my peekaboo.
I am your good-night kiss;
You are my
I love you.

Written by Maryann Cusimano Love and Satomi Ichikawa

The seagulls cry

Songs of loneliness

Their sounds remind me of

Days spent with you

I lay in bed

Paralyzed

You’re gone

Possibly forever

The walls around me

Stare back

Silent

Empty

White

All I can do

Is think of your last words to me

And wish I could change the past somehow

But

I remain

Alone

Except for the half-empty coffee cup sitting on my nightstand

Another reminder

of my last cup

with you.

A woman wins the lottery and another woman gets pushed into a subway train on the same day. Luck. Some people have it and some just don`t. I question my luck and happiness every day.

According to Wikipedia, “the definition of Luck (or chance) varies by philosophical, religious, mystical, or emotional context of the one interpreting it; according to the classic Noah Webster‘s dictionary, Luck is “a purposeless, unpredictable and uncontrollable force that shapes events favorably or unfavorably for an individual, group or cause”.^[1] Yet, the author Max Gunther defines it as “events that influence one’s life and are seemingly beyond one’s control”.^[2]

Beyond one`s control is the key phrase. I feel like my luck is going to run out one of these days since I look around me and see so many people suffering. I almost feel guilty. Guilty for the fact that I have nothing but goodness in my life. Some days are more difficult than others but all in all, I am happy. Some years have  been worse than others. This year is a good year. I guess I should just be thankful and accept the fact that some people are just going through a bad year, or two.

When good things happen to you and bad things are happening to a dear friend, it is very difficult to know what to say and do. You don`t want to rub in your good fortune while she is trying to stay above water. It`s like pushing her head down while you are laughing in the pool; you`re having fun and she is not.

The only thing you can do is send positive vibes her way, pray to whoever is in charge to be kind to her. I can`t visit her or offer her physical help. I live too far away. I wish I was that very lucky woman who won the lottery so I could hop on a plane. This country is too vast. I can offer a listening ear on the phone. I don`t have any advice to shelter her from the storm that is pouring down on her.

They say what doesn`t kill you only makes you stronger. But it could kill you in the mean time. You can only gain so much strength and nothing is stronger than death. Death ultimately wins over life. This is morbid but true. It`s so difficult to hear the words, “ I just want to die!“

The other day after a difficult phone call with her, I went for a walk. It was raining gently but the sun was shining through to create a rainbow. I told her there are rainbows – there have to be. It`s just the way it works.

Please hang in there, dear friend. He needs you. I need you.