“THE BEST FLASH ANIMATION IN 2006” on Google Video
THE BEST FLASH ANIMATION IN 2006

Bathroom time

In a lifetime, the average person spends 11,862 hours (more than one year, four months) in the bathroom, according to Roto-Rooter. The company is offering a feature-packed Pimped Out John in an online sweepstakes. It includes such amenities as a flat-screen TV, laptop computer, iPod speakers, TiVo, Xbox360, a cycling exercise device and a refrigerator filled with drinks and snacks.

Source: The Hartford (Conn.) Courant

Below are the results of my Simpsons Personality Test:

I don’t know how true they are, but I like them!

 

You Are Lisa Simpson

A total child prodigy and super genius, you have the mind for world domination.

But you prefer world peace, Buddhism, and tofu dogs.

You will be remembered for: all your academic accomplishments

Your life philosophy: “I refuse to believe that everybody refuses to believe the truth”

And these are the results of how introverted I am:

You Are 53% Open You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends…
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

And, YES I AM PROCRASTINATING DOING MY HOMEWORK!

One more. This one is priceless, the Boobie Name Generator

Your Boobies’ Names Are… Beavis and Butthead

If you’re going to try to learn Cascading Style Sheets in Dreamweaver 8, I don’t suggest trying to do so first thing in the morning. I’ve been trying, and now I have a huge headache. I don’t know why we have to learn something we don’t care to use, and that is making the whole class both homicidal and suicidal. First we kill the teacher, then ourselves. I’d rather do that than try to learn it.  For some reason, it is making us feel that we aren’t worthy of existing if we can’t learn it, or that we are just too stupid to live.

Even the features we’ve already mastered in Dreamweaver have their bugs. The program seems to be designed not to work. Even though you do everything correctly, there is some microbe somewhere that prevents an image from opening, or your link from working for no reason at all. I am convinced the designers of this software want to slowly drive the population mad, so we can’t create our own websites. They want all the control and the power over the Internet. As web designers and programmers, they are afraid of going out of business, so by making the software frustrating, they are banking on the fact that people won’t  bother. And even those who overcome the frustration suffer the ridicule and shame of  the amateur, cheap look of the do-it-yourself page. The web-control-geeks can then charge an arm and a leg to create the website for you, or to provide tech support over the phone where they talk to you in such a condescending way you don’t feel worthy of their time.

That’s it. All the computer geeks are out to get us. They are really the ones ruling the world. We can’t do anything without them, since we can’t live without our computers. We need them to check emails, pay bills, register, inform, shop, Ebay, update our Myspace, use online banking, download music and chat with our friends. It’s hopeless, really. And they are constantly adding updates, new features and new looks just to throw us off track, and make us spend more money on new software. New features and technologies are just more things to learn, especially when designing your own site. They are trying to overwhelm us, and convince us that we somehow need it all.

Take the Windows operating system, Every two to three years, there is a new version. First it was Windows 95, then 98, then XP, now it’s Vista. To get it, you have to pay big bucks to upgrade your system. What makes me crazy is that in a few years’ time, XP will be inoperable, and we will all be forced to by the newest version. And they are always making things faster with more space, more megabytes. Now everything is measured in gigabytes. In a few years, those will be useless, and there will be terrabytes. Why can’t they just let a good thing be? Why keep adding for the sake of adding? Marketing, profit, planned obsolescence,  which to me is pure evil.

The geeks are getting their revenge on mainstream society for all the torture and abuse they suffered in highschool. The football teams and cheerleaders of the past are now the losers of today, unable to function properly without having to come crawling for help. These techies now proudly call themselves computer geeks instead of hiding in the debate club, boldly stepping out of the AV closet. They know how much we need them, and that they are making the most money. This gives them more power to own more things, travel the world, marry the hot chick, become famous.

It’s a cruel world really. I’ll try not to kill myself today. I can’t give them the power.

What shall I write about today? They say (people like Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, The Right to Write,) that the best time to write is in the morning, first thing when you get up, before you do anything else, even before you have to pee. They also say it is best to write when you feel the most resistance, when you think you have nothing to say. That supposedly results in your best work.

I’d have to agree with that. The stories I had the hardest times with have always been my strongest. The half-assed blogs I posted on a whim got the most responses, the most enjoyment from my limited audience. The stuff I think is my best usually bores people. Not always, but most of the time.

Okay, I still feel I have nothing to say, except that I feel fat today. Last night during our weekly Public Relations class, I was craving fries and gravy, and the grill was closed by the time I got to it during the break. I thought about A&W afterwards, since they make the best fast-food burgers and fries with gravy in the whole world. But then I thought, “Should I? It’s bad for me. I should go home and make something healthy, really, and save money.” Ah, what the heck, it’s a craving that won’t go away.

I asked Sara if she’d join me. As soon as I uttered the famous initials, she shouted with glee, “Oh! I have a coupon!”  Our recent body dysmorphia and promises of eating better were transformed to a deep-fried, bacon-layered, gravy-dipping necessity.   After all, we had a two-for-one teen burger coupon. We were saving money. Yum! It was all I could think about on the Skytrain ride there.

It was all I imagined and more. Hot, crispy fries dipped in creamy, brown gravy. The burger was divine, a juicy beef patty topped with melted cheese, crunchy bacon, ripe tomato and freshly toasted buns. Absolutely delicious. I had no regrets. I slept with stuffed delight, my all-day craving for salt and grease deeply satisified.

Then this morning came. I woke up feeling bloated, tired, foggy, gross. I stepped on the scale. I weighed five pounds more than I did yesterday morning. My gut turned in repulsion at the thought of five pounds of food just sitting there, slowly digesting, converting into body fat that will rest permanently on my thighs. My dysmorphic anxiety returned as I squeezed into unforgiving pants that stretched tautly across my ass. Great. Now I’m getting a lardy butt. Nice.

It’s amazing how a craving can take over all common sense. But even though I feel a tad pudgy, there is always hope.  I can lose those five pounds in a day or two. That happened to me once, where I ate a huge dinner, gained five pounds, and lost it the next day.  And there’s still that life-membership at Fit City For Women … right. I haven’t been there since, well, I don’t remember when. I sorely admit that I still need to get into shape and eat better, firm up my flabby middle tire and squishy thighs, but I’m not obese. Yet.

So for today’s menu, it’s a meager bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, vegetarian sandwich with an orange for lunch, and just a salad for dinner.

What a day yesterday. The tension was so thick in the air I couldn’t breathe. I felt like attacking someone, anyone. Eveyone else’s anxiety including my own, along with several carcinogenic personalities in the room mixed a cocktail named disaster. Yuck. Days like those make me want to curl up in a ball and hide, or crawl into the sewer and start an underground colony, live with the rats. Why not? Most rats seem nicer to live with than certain people anyways, because they don’t talk back. It’s just a road to survival, finding the basic necessities. Food, shelter and mating are all they worry about. If only life were that simple. Getting through the day without getting maimed or killed is difficult in any kind of life,  especially in the rat race we call humanity.

I was referred to the Keri Smith web site by my classmate.  It is a delightful website and blog with whimsical, insightful thoughts, drawings and exercises for artists and writers to get inspired and rev up their creative juices.  It really helped me this morning to have the courage to finish my projects and carry on back to that scary classroom, rather than going home straight after work and climbing in bed, starting another love affair with my pillow.  I’m so thankful I have these people in my life, the non-toxic ones, who are full of inspiration, positive thoughts and creativity, and make me laugh my ass off so I forget my worries (mostly because my stomach muscles hurt so much from laughing so hard). They are the kindred spirits who lift me out of the depths of depression, and help me see the right light at the right time.

This poster (taken from Keri’s blog) was a good one for yesterday, or for any shitty day that you want to forget. 

Or click here for a venting survival artist guide when frustrated or feeling dejected.

Even if you don’t consider yourself an artist (I believe everyone is), it’s good for when you’re feeling crappy about yourself , or if someone pisses you off and you need to get shit off your chest. It will release the negative energy and give you that boost of inspiration to carry on with whatever it is you’re doing: cleaning the house, making supper, writing a story, painting on canvas, creating a budget, writing software, organizing a convention.

Hang in there peeps. It always gets better. It has to.