I’ve decided to do something I swore I’d never do: put a harness (a cute and cuddly one at that) on my child. I always used to judge parents who did that, thinking they weren’t good parents to not have control over their child. Then I had my own. He is fiercely independent, walks ahead of me and refuses to hold my hand. If I try to force him, he pulls back, screams and starts to run away. It’s more dangerous and humiliating for us to do that than to put a strap on him.
I just purchased a little owl backpack that is accompanied by a thick, not-too-long, detachable strap. I haven’t tried it out yet because I haven’t had the opportunity to take him out for a walk on the street. At the same time, I am so afraid of judgment from others since I used to be the one to judge. When I tell people about it, most people understand, but some people cringe. My nephew said, “What is he, a dog?”
Why am I so afraid of judgment? Who cares what other people think? Most of the people who will judge me will be non-parents, or people who have never had an independent, active child. I care more about the safety of my child than what other people think and the aesthetics of it all.
My friend told me once she was driving slowly down a busy street when a toddler broke free from her father’s hand and darted out into busy traffic. My friend hit the brakes quickly and did not hit the child, but it was a scary, near miss.
Toddlers are unpredictable, active, crazy, and love to run and bolt. My toddler is not even two-years-old and doesn’t yet understand that running out onto the road could mean imminent danger. He also doesn’t understand all the vocabulary necessary to communicate this message to him. I don’t want him to learn the hard way.
If you see a toddler in harness, do not judge or ridicule. The parent is being a very good parent by caring more about safety on a busy street than a socially-pleasing appearance of invisible control and good behaviour that doesn’t always exist.
Yahoo! writer Jennifer Phillips says the debate isn’t even about leashes/harnesses; it’s just another topic to perpetuate the mommy wars. Instead of judging parents who choose to leash (or choose anything for that matter), Phillips says, “[It’s important to remember that] we are all unique individuals, with unique children, in unique situations trying to do the best we can, and make the best decisions we can for our unique families.”
blaak sheep 