So I had a baby at the ripe age of 43. When I tell some people who don’t know me very well my age, they say, “Oh, you had your baby late in life!” and look at me all concerned, as if it’s a problem. They then ask if there were any complications, and I say no. Everything went swimmingly. They say,”Oh you were lucky,” and continue with the doomsday look, as if I’m a time bomb waiting to explode. Some even said if they had a baby in their 40s, they’d feel like killing themselves.
I understand the stats involved are plenty. Many complications can happen. But they didn’t. Yes, I was lucky. But that doesn’t mean it’s a taboo. Don’t look at me that way. Instead, congratulate me and be frickin happy. Yes, my baby is a miracle, but aren’t all babies? And many women under 40 can have complications. But we don’t automatically assume and almost “wish” that upon them. It’s like telling a pregnant woman she’s going to have a terrible labour. You just don’t project bad vibes on someone. Especially if you don’t know them very well.
Anything is possible. More and more women are waiting later in life to have a baby. With all the medical advances nowadays, it is possible. We are told not to wait, the dangers for mom and baby are many. But sometimes we don’t have that luxury of time. For me, I wasn’t ready in my twenties or thirties. I didn’t want a child, and didn’t have the means to support a child. I didn’t meet my life partner until I was in my forties.
I have to admit, my pregnancy wasn’t planned. We were talking about having a baby, but were thinking perhaps in a year or so, but didn’t know if I could even get pregnant, and of course, we were worried about complications. I was worried at this age having a baby would be harder on me, that I’d be exhausted all the time, and irritable. I was worried my back would go out and I’d have a lot of health problems.
Then I just got pregnant. They watched me like a hawk, especially during labour, but everything went fine. And our son continues to amaze us every day. He is healthy, happy and fun. I have a strange energy, I am not too exhausted. I am extremely patient and calm (most of the time). I think nature has a way of taking care of both the mom and the baby at times. I feel like I won the lottery.
If a woman you know is older and is having a baby, be supportive, not negative. All the stats in the world are there, but are not always applicable to her situation.
blaak sheep 