You’re a woman of just about any age walking down the street, and a car goes by and you hear the shrill of a high pitched whistle, and then, ”Hey baby, nice ass!” In fact, wherever you go you here names like “honey,” “baby,” “sweetie,” “cutie,” “beautiful” and “darling.” Sounds kind of like a town in Texas, don’t it? It’s actually the city of London, Ontario, a decent-sized city of just over 368,000 people located in the southwestern part of the province, a two-hour’s drive west of Toronto. As a person of the feminine gender, you are bound to get stared at, smiled at, whistled at, hit on, yelled at and even groped if you’re on a crowded city bus. It actually sounds like any big city, really, but from my experience of being born and raised there for twenty-four years, it happens the most often in London. I’ve lived in Toronto, Calgary and Vancouver, spent time in Montreal, Seattle, Paris, Amsterdam and Brussels. I’ve never been to New York, so I can’t speak for that city. However, one place in my experience was actually worse: Cancun, Mexico. I’ve never heard so many “Hey Chiquita!” and marriage proposals during a one-week, all-inclusive vacation.
It’s either demeaning or ego-boosting, depending on the mood you or the person you’re with are in. After awhile, it becomes the norm, occurring at any time of the day in any location from the drug store to the local pub. Every woman can feel quite attractive yet preyed upon, never quite deciding if it offends her or not.
So you want to get away from all the laud attention and feel like a human being of equality and self-respect. Hail the city of Vancouver, British Columbia. Located by the Pacific Ocean, this city is known for its majestic beauty of mountain-lined coasts and valleys of rain forests. People here love the outdoors and partake in sporting events such as rock-climbing, hiking, sailing, skiing, snowshoeing, golfing and running.
You arrive here and instantly notice how much more peaceful your walks downtown and to the corner store are (only if you can tune out the pandemonium of the death-defying traffic). It’s not just because of the ocean breeze blowing in your ears or the gentle lapping of the waves on the shores. There’s no one yelling at you (except for the bad drivers), no sideways glances or whispering a demeaning name under his breath as he passes you. You are confident your self-respect has been restored and you actually feel liberated for once in your life.
But this liberation has gone too far. After months of the screaming silence, you notice something else. When you walk down the street, you don’t even get a glance from a man who passes you by. He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. You say hello to one and he completely ignores you. Either you’ve gotten really ugly over the past few years, or all the men in Vancouver are gay, castrated or just too exhausted from all the outdoor sports. Maybe all the fresh mountain air has blown away all the pheromones and sexual desire. Oh, wait a minute, homeless men talk to me all the time, but they usually want money.
I went to a club once in the downtown core. My friend who is very attractive was wearing a black mini-dress showing good cleavage and pleather high-heeled boots. She looked hot. Not one single guy came up to her. She got a few fleeting glances. The men were literally on one side of the bar and women on the other, like a high school dance.
What is it with the men in Vancouver? I don’t care for the catcalling and shrewd whistling, but being liberated or not, there is still such a thing as attraction and if I’m in the mood to flirt, I’d like to have it reciprocated, even if it’s on the Skytrain. The men all stare at their feet. I know I’m not a supermodel in looks, but I also know I’m reasonably attractive to look at, especially in London.
blaak sheep 
I completely agree! Both men and women in Vancouver are very insular and reluctant to make connections with others. I had a very similar situation at a Vancouver club as well, only there were four of us in sexy mini-dresses and no one approached us. NO. ONE! I must admit that from having lived here for most of my twenties, I have become this way too. It sucks. Maybe it has something to do with obligation? I want to make connections too, but after a long day at work being nice (ish) to everyone, I also don’t want to feel obligated to be nice on the skytrain. So I sit there daydreaming with my headphones on. I think the only way to solve the problem is to put out what you want to get back. If you want to flirt, then flirt! Reciprocity will come along eventually. I guess I need to take the headphones off first…
When I lived in Vancouver, nobody hit on me, just this Eastern European girl at work who lost me with the words “anal beads.” Now that I am in Toronto, all I have to do is walk down Church Street to get a little attention. I have to say, at the age of forty, a whistle or a wink is nice.
Having travelled extensively I have created a theory to solve this observation that you attribute to Vancouver men….I question if the enlightened Canadian Big City man is trying his best to be respectful and in doing so has become fearful???
Toronto men are the same. But how can we blame them? We have told them contradicting beliefs and I think they are just feeling a little unsafe.
so come back to London and get your ego boosted!!!! and a nice visit/stay with your favorite sisters!!! ~hugs~
-m
Well, one must consider that while there is no shortage of men in London, ON, quality versus quantity comes to mind. Don’t forget sexual harassment started for us by the time we were 11 or 12 years old in London and not from boys are own age- we’re talking men over the age of 18 – what does that tell ya? Really, who want to date these men who are learing at our children? Don’t worry Rochelle, all good things will happen for you in time.
P.S. I also meant to say – I think given the choice of flirting with icky, gross men (who may look decent enough on the outside) or none flirty guys in Vancouver. I’d take the none flirty guys in Vancouver. Perhaps, men in Vancouver need us to be more aggressive? Afterall, psychologist’s do say that men need to have all the dots put very closely together when it comes to communication in relationships and what it is us women want. Perhaps, we should walk right up to men and say “Hi, my name is Cheryl – I’ll be your flirting partner for the next 5 to 10 minutes whilst. we ride this bus”….LOL.
I think you can be safely assured that Vancouver is full of good people and assholes just like anywhere else.
If a whole city seems against you, it is probably something do with how you are feeling.
Still, it could very well be that Vancouver males have learned to be more polite. I certainly take care when talking to a woman not to seem rude or leering, being careful to lock eyes, no “flicking”, etc. It just seems more a mature way to be.
Just try and get into situations where speaking naturally just makes sense. Most people want to talk, I think. Having people being compelled to talk to someone because of their looks is maybe not the best way to be (although it is certainly flattering if you want it, to be sure).