Joy

I don’t know what to write about. Normally my writing is an outlet for raw emotion, negative emotions, pain. I am so friggin’ happy I feel I have nothing to express. I don’t know how to do happy writing. I can do “how to’s” and “what if’s” but not how to be happy. I guess I would say my writing in this blog is not exactly morose but I find myself lacking in subject matter.

I am a parent, a title which brings me so much pride and honour. I wrote a blog post a few years ago on how I did not want children and how I was offended by people telling me I should have children, that I didn’t know what I was missing. They were right. I have come full circle. The joys of parenthood far outweigh the negatives and people who say they don’t want to have children are just focusing on the negative aspects, such as all-night crying, poopy diapers and temper tantrums. Mind you, my child is only eight-months-old and I haven’t experienced the toddler stage yet. Plus I have a really good baby who rarely cries and sleeps through the night. Colicky-baby parents hate me right now.

From the moment I discovered I was pregnant until the minute I gave birth, I have been feeling pure joy. The harsh kicks during pregnancy made me giggle. Even the brutal, constant heartburn gave me pleasure as it was a reminder of the ebullient little life inside me.  I have to admit, I wanted to get pregnant. I craved a baby at the ripe age of 43. When I was younger, I didn’t crave such things. I craved a good education, a strong career and titles on paper. The poopy diapers and crying don’t phase me. The thought of being responsible for someone for the next twenty years inspires me to live life to the fullest.

The joy also comes from the large toothless smiles and hearty baby belly laughs. He laughs at the simplest things, from saying “Goofy goof goof goof!” to making funny faces, which in turn makes me laugh. He nibbles on my fiance’s ear and grabs his nose at the moment a picture is being taken. He growls like a dog and yells to hear his own voice. He rolls and flops around the floor, always discovering, looking, observing with awe. Watching someone so young embrace life with full force brings the strongest joy of all.

My life is so much better. I feel inspired in so many ways. Since I gave birth I have been more inspired to do a lot more things than just take good care of a baby. I am singing more and have rejoined my choir. Even though I feel I have nothing to write about today, I am writing more for other people. My fiance and I are launching our own business. Everything is coming up roses. It feels like I cannot take the wrong path right now.

When I was pregnant, we wondered how we were going to afford having a child. People came out of the woodwork and donated clothes, toys, diapers and money. I received emotional support from all angles. I discovered several “mommy”groups and a lot of free advice. Bottom line, having a baby was the best thing that every happened to me. There is nothing but positive energy coming my way.

I hope I don’t make any one barf with all this sickening happiness. See? I think happy writing is bad writing.